Advice from the other gender… Chair covers and other wedding "myths" explained

Because when in your life to do you think, “Hmmm you know what; I can’t sit on a chair like this. I need something to cover it. Like a… a cover or something...for my chair. OH MY GOD like a chair cover! That’s IT! I need chair covers!” The answer? Never. Because nobody needs chair covers and they seem to purely be a wedding industry invention/con. This made me think, if I (a woman) don’t understand why we need these things, then how the hell is a man supposed to know? So to help all the soon-to-be-grooms out there and anyone else who needs “chair cover enlightenment”, I've done some research, asked some brides-to-be and written this article to help explain why brides seem so obsessed about little things that don’t seem that important…

Chair Covers

What they are: - Chair covers are basically the fabric things you put over ugly chairs to make them prettier. Like a giant sock but for a chair. They can some in several fabrics but the 2 popular ones are cotton and Lycra. Cotton is considered classier and is the traditional choice. However they only fit certain chairs and have to be pressed in order to look smart. Lycra on the other hand is cheaper and fits more chairs but they tend not to look as nice as cotton covers. Then you’ll need sashes tied around the chairs to make them look prettier (yes you need these otherwise the chair just looks unfinished and ugly.) Organza and taffeta are the fabrics of choice for these, however the latter is harder to find. Why do I need this? : - Well the truth is you don’t, but weddings are all about small details. However chair covers are a relatively inexpensive way of making sure that all the chairs coordinate with the “look” the bride has in mind.  So bite your tongue and pay for the covers or be prepared to spend a painful amount of money on pretty chairs. Because I can guarantee you most brides-to-be would rather eat tinned beans for a month than have ugly chairs that don’t match anything on her wedding.

Her wedding shoes

What they are: - Probably the most important pair of shoes she’s going to wear in her life (even if no one will notice them under her dress.) Why do I need this? : - Well you don’t need them. She does. So the worst thing you could say is “They’re just a pair of shoes.” Why? Because it makes you sound like an insensitive dick that’s why and because shoes (especially high heels) are an accepted female luxury. So on her special day if she wants to feel like the most beautiful maiden to ever walk down the aisle in £350 diamanté heels then by all the merciful gods you are not going to stop her.

Wedding Favours

What they are: - Doesn't seem fair does it? You’re practically paying for people to come to your wedding and you have to get them a “thank you for coming gift” too? Yes basically. Now traditionally these aren't large or expensive so don’t fret (unless of course the missus has decided to get Tiffany frames for everyone.) Why do I need this? : - Again you don’t need these but you’ll look like a dick if you don’t have them. After all (if you ignore the fact that you’re practically paying for these people to eat) some of your guests may have travelled very far just to be here for your special day. No doubt some guests may have brought a new hat/dress/suit for the occasion (not that you told them to or anything...) So don’t be bitter and fork out for something. Now I'm sure there are more things but these  (when asking my male colleagues) seem to be the most questioned. So whilst I know you'd rather be day dreaming about your Bratislava stag, there are some odd wedding things (like those blasted chair covers!) that your just going to have to accept and get over before you can have that stag weekend you've always wanted and the wedding of her dreams that everybody is looking forward to.