'Stag Do Town' Bans Sex Toys

One of Britain's most popular cities for stag weekends has taken measures to ban sex toys from its streets in a bid to clean up is image. stag weekends Newquay-style will have to live without blow up dolls and dildos from here on out as fed up residents have complained that tourists are being left with a bad impression after these bawdy revellers parade through the streets brandishing lewd props.

This ban comes as the respected travel guide book dubbed Newquay, "more Costa Del Sol than Cornwall" and has caused local residents to express concern about the eyes and minds of the town's children.

Police are under strict instruction to cofiscate any crude inflatables, props or clothing that may offend residents or other visitors from stag weekends the town over.

Dave Sleeman is the chairman of Newquay Town Residents Association and according to him, enough is enough:

"I recently saw a guy who was half-naked hanging out of a window with a sex toy and shouting at women in the street - it was ten o'clock in the morning"

May we suggest a watershed? Perhaps you can only take your inflatable other half out after 9pm? Or perhaps they should be attired if going out during the day?

Sleeman continues:

"I don't see why we should have that in our town. There are people who come here for Friday and Saturday and make the town centre a no-go area"

Don't think yer man, Sleeman quite grasps the concept of tourist dollar, there.

Ian Drummond-Smith of Devon and Cornwall Police, said:

"People come down to have a good time and the majority don't want to see these things.

"If the ban discourages people from coming, so be it - we have got think about the families"

Won't somebody PLEASE think about the children!??

Ahem, sorry. Yep, so Newquay stag weekends will never be the same again. If you want to keep hold of your inflatable woman, probably best to leave at her home, chaps.